Rather than expose us all to the full horror of events, I'm instead going to write up Weeks 15 through 17 of the
Arizona Cardinals' 2003 season via word-association.
Ready? Here we go.
Scoreboard? Depressing.
Panthers? Massacre.
Seahawks? Worse.
Culpepper? Die! Die! DIE DIE DIE!
Defence? French.
Josh McCown? Ryan Leaf.
Prospects? Titanic.
Our final tally for the season, then, a 6-10 that I definitely would have taken
had you offered it me at the start of the year, but that is pretty galling
considering that with five games to play we stood at 6-5 and had an outside shot
at the playoffs.
God-fricking-DAMN.
Still, let's look on the bright side. While the other teams were stupidly duking
it out for the Big Prize, we were in a position to start analysing our
performance over the past season and start planning how exactly we're going to
build on the foundations we've laid.
With about as much success as the bloke in Holy Grail built on his swamp,
I suspect, but hope springs eternal.
2003 SEASON IN REVIEW - OFFENCE
Passing
Jeff Blake - 284/505 (56%) for 3695 yards. 19 TDs, 24 INT, Rating – 72.1
Josh McCown - 58/105 (55%) for 796 yards. 6 TDs, 5 INT, Rating – 78.7
I realise it looks on the surface of it that the two quarterbacks had reasonably
comparable performances, or that if anything McCown has a slight edge. Which just
goes to show that there are lies, damned lies and statistics. McCown was
routinely horrible, most of his yards coming late in games after teams already
had us beaten. What absolutely slaughtered us, in both cases, are the
interception totals. Our defence simply wasn’t good enough to defend a short
field and you could normally count on both Blake and McCown to turn a mildly
troubling game situation into a full-on crisis with a well-timed pick. The
yardage totals are noteworthy, but were normally racked up because we were so
far behind we had to almost totally abandon the run. Bottom line – not good
enough. We need help under centre like Jeff Fisher needs a shave.
Rushing
Marcel Shipp - 1321 yards from 354 attempts (3.7yd avg, long–50 yds). 21 TDs,
7 fumbles lost.
Emmitt Smith – 168 yards from 43 attempts (3.9yd avg, long-16 yds). 1 TD, 2
fumbles lost.
All in all, it was a nice year for Marcel Shipp, who got stronger as the year
wore on and went to the Pro Bowl as the NFC’s best running back. Not the fastest
back in the league, nor the shiftiest, but an absolute load to bring down.
Concerns are his poor per-carry average – indicative of his lack of breakaway
speed – and, duh, his heinous fumbling problem. If we can somehow get his hands
sorted out, he's got the talent to be the feature back here for years. Emmitt
Smith was an almost complete irrelevance in the ground game. He made a few good
plays as a receiver out of the backfield, but for the most part was a publicity
stunt and a complete waste of cap-space. Hands up anyone who’s surprised. No? Me
either.
Receiving
Bryant Johnson – 95 catches for 1465 yds (15.4yd avg, long-68 yds), 11 TDs.
Anquan Boldin – 94 catches for 1223 yds (13.0yd avg, long–73 yds), 6 TDs.
Bryan Gilmore – 41 catches for 611 yds (14.9yd avg, long –61yds), 4 TDs.
Freddie Jones - 38 catches for 449 yds (11.8yd avg, long–55 yds), 0 TDs.
Marcel Shipp - 39 catches for 303 yds (7.7yd avg, long–32 yds), 1 TDs.
Emmitt Smith - 24 catches for 268 yds (11.1yd avg, long–74 yds), 3 TDs.
Ah, yeaaaah... now that’s what I’m talking about! Two rookie receivers
both going over 1000 yards catching? Has that ever happened before? The voters
were suitably impressed, voting Johnno and Anquan 1-2 for the Offensive Rookie
Of The Year, and sending Johnno to the Pro-Bowl as the best NFC wideout whose
name didn’t rhyme with “Handy Boss”. You’d have to be impressed no matter how
they managed it, but that both got over the grand with a pair of quarterbacks
who will in future years become known the stiffs by which all over stiffs are
measured... well. My flabber has never been so ghasted. Elsewhere, Bryan Gilmore
and Freddie Jones did a nice job of relieving pressure on the Big Two from the
slot and tight-end positions respectively, and the Shipp/Smith axis got some
good things done out of the backfield. Nice to know there’s at least one area on
the team that I don’t have to worry too much about, anyway.
Blocking
L.J. Shelton (LT) - 72 pancakes, 4 sacks allowed.
Leonard Davis (RG) - 61 pancakes, 7 sacks allowed.
Pete Kendall (LG) - 44 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed.
James Hodgins (FB) – 42 pancakes, 1 sack allowed.
Anthony Clement (RT) - 37 pancakes, 11 sacks allowed.
Jason Starkey (C) - 17 pancakes, 2 sacks allowed.
Freddie Jones (TE) – 11 pancakes, 1 sack allowed
The line sent LJ Shelton and Lenny Davis to the Pro Bowl as starters. All in
all, they allowed 32 sacks, or a couple a game. Not fantastic, but not too bad
either. The two most glaring weak points are Tony Clement, who had trouble
handling edge-rushers from his right tackle spot, and Jason Starkey, whose
run-blocking left a bit to be desired. I’ll look to try and improve one or both
positions in the off-season. All in all, though, one of the better units on the
team and a big reason for Marcel Shipp’s success this season. While I think of
it, kudos to James Hodgins, the fullback, who got to carry the ball less often
than Lara Flynn Boyle goes back to the breakfast buffet for seconds, but who did
a very nice job as a lead blocker and in pass protection and has the 40+
pancakes to prove it.
DEFENCE
Alright, this is where it gets ugly. And not a little bit ugly. Not, say, Thom-Yorke,
Rosie-O’Donnell-type ugly, no. We’re talking full-on, Oh-My-God,
Accidentally-Walking-In-On-John-Madden-While-He’s-In-The-Shower ugly.
And with that image firmly in mind...
Dead last in the league in several reasonably important categories – total
yardage, passing yardage, rushing yardage, points given up – it’s fair to say
that our defensive unit was pretty ghastly in 2003. Not so much the Steel
Curtain, more the Net Curtain.
That said, there were some individuals who stood out even as all around them was
going completely Cardinals.
Tackles
Adrian Wilson (SS) – 102
Raynoch Thompson (SLB) – 77
Ronald McKinnon (MLB) – 73
Dexter Jackson (FS) – 67
Levar Fisher (WLB) – 62
A great effort by Wilson in a hopeless cause, but I have a theory that having
both safeties in your team’s top 4 leading tacklers might not be a good sign.
I’ve also got a theory that it’s a similarly bad omen when your nickelback has
more tackles than any member of your defensive line (Terry Fair – 44 tackles,
highest D-lineman Wendell Bryant (DT) – 38 tackles). Ho hum.
Sacks
Frank Wakefield (LE) – 11
Wendell Bryant (DT) – 8
Calvin Pace (RE) – 5
Levar Fisher (WLB) / Raynoch Thompson (SLB) – 3
Ah. So that’s what the D-line were doing all year. Or trying to do, at
least. Lack of pressure on the opposing quarterback was one of the things that
absolutely killed us this season. The other thing, of course, was not being able
to even slow down the run. Both problems have their root in a
not-really-good-enough d-line, and I’ll definitely, definitely be looking to
upgrade this unit via free agency or the draft. Fingers crossed the Titans dump Kearse...
Interceptions
David Barrett (RCB) – 5 (2 TDs)
Tay Cody (LCB) – 3
Terry Fair (NCB) – 2 (1 TD)
Levar Fisher (WLB) / Raynoch Thompson (SLB) – 2
A nice season from old No-Mark (who also led the team in Tackles For Loss with
7), and rewarded with a contract extension. The problem with our secondary is
that they’re all honest lads and give each game all they’ve got, but there’s not
a single proper, full-on cover-corner among them. Enthusiasm is nice, but talent
would be nicer. Hopefully, Duane Starks will come back from his ACL tear next
season without too much of a dropoff in his skills, and we’ll be in business.
Sort’ve. Kind’ve.
Aaaand finally...
SPECIAL TEAMS
Kicking
Martin Gramatica, 52/52 PAT (100%), 20/27 FG (74%)
Not bad, not great. Gets a contract extension anyway, because decent kickers are
pretty damned hard to come by in this league.
Punting
Scott Player, 48 punts for 2053 yds (42.7 yds/punt, long 87yds(!)). 11 in 20,
4 TB.
At first, this looks like a pretty unremarkable season – but the big numbers
here are 11 punts landing inside the opposition 20 yard line as opposed to just
4 touchbacks. So rather than launching his kicks out of the back of the endzone
and padding his per-punt average (see Bidwell, Josh), Scotty was angling
his punts for Coffin Corner and helping the team by pinning the opposition as
deep as possible.
Alright, it didn’t help most of the time, but you have to admire him for making
the effort. Scotty can punt for me any time.[/TopGun]
Returns
Terry Fair, 63 KR for 1139 yds (18.0yd avg, long – 88yds), 1 TD
Terry Fair, 24 PR for 360 yds (15.0 yd avg, long – 65yds), 2 TDs
I think it’s Fair to say (aha. Aha. Aha. Thank you, I’ll be here all week) that
Terry had a better year returning punts as opposed to kicks. Didn’t do too badly
on either score, to be honest, and you can’t argue with three return TDs on the
season, but I think I might shuffle the kick-return duties around a bit in the
next set of fake games, see if anyone jumps out and makes the job their own.
-
IN SUMMARY:
Cool and overcast, with a 25% chance of rain later.
NO, THE BLOODY SEASON IN SUMMARY, YOU BLITHERING IDIOT.
Alright, keep your knickers on, there’s no need to be like that about it.
WELL. IT’S NOT ON. YOU’RE JUST WASTING EVERYONE’S TIME.
That’s what the Internet is for, isn’t it?
DON’T BE GLIB.
Be what?
GLIB.
I couldn’t if I wanted to. I don’t have the legs for that sort of thing.
ANYONE EVER TELL YOU THAT YOU’RE A REALLY FUNNY BLOKE?
No. No, I don’t think they have.
I’M NOT AT ALL SURPRISED. GET ON WITH IT.
Righto.
RIGHT. FROM THE TOP. THE SEASON IN BRIEF SUMMARY:
Too many mistakes on offence, too little anything on defence.
THE SEASON IN SLIGHTLY LESS BRIEF SUMMARY:
We put up some frankly staggering numbers on offence, but too often we hamstrung
ourselves by throwing a pick or giving up a fumble in exactly the wrong
situation. Winning teams just don’t commit 43 turnovers in a season, end of
story. The reason our passing yardage total is stratospheric is that we were
getting ourselves into impossible situations through mistakes then having to go
completely pass-wacky to try and get back into the game.
The problems weren’t helped by our defence, which vacillated between not being
able to stop the run, not being able to stop the pass, and not being able to
stop either. Always vulnerable, the defensive unit simply collapsed down the
stretch, giving up 40, 38, 35, 45, 55, 56 and 47 points in weeks 10 through 16,
before rallying to only surrender 26 to the Vikings in our last game.
Ouch.
OFFSEASON STRATEGY:
I think the defence’s problems have to take priority over the offence’s. The
five-game losing streak at the end of the year made up my mind on whether or not
to clean house with regard to the coaching staff, and I think whoever we get in
as head coach is going to have to be someone with experience of running a
successful defence.
In terms of playing staff, I think we can live without tinkering too much on
offence unless a primo QB turns up on the waiver wire. We need a new centre,
really, and an upgrade at right tackle would be nice but isn’t by any means
essential. Other than that, we just need to do some work in training camp toward
helping Marcel Shipp improve his handling skills, and I reckon we’ll be good to
go.
So the bulk of our effort, both in the draft and in free agency, is going to be
directed at two areas – the defensive line and the secondary. We need a proper
pass-rushing end, a run-stuffing tackle to help out Wendell Bryant, and a cover
corner. Don’t get me wrong, if an All-Pro linebacker is going spare somewhere
I’ll have him, but those are the three positions that we simply must fill by the
end of the pre-season.
Easy.
[
^ back to top ]
[ < back to page 15 ]
[ on to new season > ]
(c) daniel
roe 2004
